The Silver Bullet

Those who know me well know that I’m a pretty easy-going guy.  Not a lot really bothers me.  I try not to get too upset about stuff and I do my best not to judge others.  But I do have a few pet peeves and things that set my blood boiling.  And I’m very vocal (some would say annoyingly so) about them.
For instance, it’s ATM and SAT.  It is not ATM machine and SAT test.  You should be required to know what makes up an acronym before you’re allowed to use it. 

Also, redundancy is fun and also redundant.  Someone needs to tell Chris Berman that tundra is, by definition, frozen. 

You can’t give 110%.  You can’t give 200%.  It’s impossible.  I’m not good at math, but I learned in elementary school that 100% equals the full amount.  Memo to athletes, if you think you were giving 100% but now you’re going to give 110%, you were not giving it your all before.  It just doesn’t add up and you end up making your math teachers look bad.

And then there’s Cracker Jack.  The plural of Cracker Jack is not Cracker Jacks!  The song does not go “Buy me some peanuts and Cracker JACKS!!!”  Cracker Jack is the delicious amalgamation of popcorn peanuts coated in caramel.  If any element is missing, it isn’t Cracker Jack.  If you want two boxes, say “I want two boxes of Cracker Jack,” not “I want some Cracker Jacks.”  I will fight this one to the death! 

Do you see an "s" in there anywhere? I didn't think so!

 This all brings me to my number one pet peeve… beer.

See… I love beer.  And not much aggravates me more than when someone orders a crappy mass-produced brew.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been quietly enjoying a lovely beer and a burger at my favorite burger joint (a bacon cheeseburger on a pretzel bun if you were wondering) when I hear someone order a Bud Light or a Coors Light.  I mean seriously?!?  A good restaurant, bar, pub or package store will have a dozen beers on tap and could have more than a hundred in bottle.  I can understand if your options are limited, but when the beer world is your oyster, you’ve got to take a sip.

And I don’t buy the argument that some beers are cheaper so you can drink more.  The old Tastes Great vs. Less Filling debate has an easy answer.  Less filling, because I’m not drinking it.  One of the mottos I try to live by is “Life is too short to drink bad beer.”  Just spend the money on the good stuff and drink a little less.  Besides, more expensive beer usually has more alcohol, so you’re getting just as drunk for your money and your taste buds will thank you.

There are literally thousands of types of beer to fit any taste level.  There are bitter beers and smooth beers, ales and lagers, porters and stouts, flavored beers and traditional, micro brews and craft brews, domestic and international, the list goes on and on and on. 

Did I mention that I love beer?

Of course not all of it can be good, and there are some truly foul beer concoctions.  And, I’m not saying that small breweries are always better than the big boys.  Guinness is one of the biggest companies in the world and they brew some truly awesome beer.  Plus their factory looks like Willy Wonka (the Gene Wilder edition) could walk out at any moment with some Oompa Loompas.

See… there’s way more to life than the watered down, tasteless, colorless “beer.”  But here’s the thing, you don’t know what’s good until you belly up to the bar order a pint.  Who knows, you might actually find something you like.  And maybe then I can enjoy my beer and burger in peace. 



Posted by on October 13, 2011 in Uncategorized


The Soundtrack

One of my favorite random things in life is when I pull up to a red light, or when I’m speeding along the highway, only to glance over at someone who’s rocking out to the music blaring inside their car.  I love when I get a minor glimpse into a moment when people let their guard down, and just let their music take over.  And don’t think I’m judging.  Chances are, I was doing the same thing 3 seconds before, and I’m about to be again. 

There’s something truly awesome about cruising down the road, singing at the top of my lungs, turning the steering wheel and your dashboard into a guitar/drum set/bass/piano/banjo/whatever.  In that moment, the world is filled with endless possibilities, I become one with the music, turning my car into my own personal recording studio where I almost always sound great.  Nevermind the fact that I carry a tune about as well as a colander carries water.

To me, that’s one of the best things about music.  It can make you so oblivious to the outside world, that you get so consumed by it, you’re willing to make a complete fool out of yourself for all the world to see.  And I don’t care what genre it is, as long as it can move you to be a moron, it’s good music.

And I just realized I was writing about music, while not listening to music…

Ahh… that’s better.

See… I always wanted my life to have a soundtrack.  To have rising crescendos cueing me in to the important moments, maybe some Hitchcockian strings letting me know when danger is lurking around the corner, even a little Barry White for well… you know.

But, too often I find that I’ve missed the moment waiting for the music in my head to start, rather than just cranking up the tunes and making things happen.

There’s a great line from the Steve Martin movie “L.A. Story.”  “Let your mind go and your body will follow.”  Most of the time, I have trouble letting my mind go, so my body stays stuck.  But music gives me that little push.  I can think back on just about every big moment in my life, good or bad, and I can think of a song or band to go along with it.  They help me  

Hmm… seems there is a soundtrack.  I just have to press play. 

See you on the highway.


Posted by on September 30, 2011 in Uncategorized


Coming soon

I figured it’s time I start giving all these ideas in my head someplace to go.  Stay tuned.

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Posted by on September 29, 2011 in Uncategorized